The White Lotus Season 2, Episode 6: Weekly Recap

CAROL:

Overall Thoughts: Hm, maybe monogamy kills us all. Aubrey Plaza wakes up and immediately gives an entire emotional narrative expressing her frustration with her weirdo husband that refuses to BeReal or honest with himself. She had barely opened her eyes, before he uttered “it’s not fair.” Very ominous vibes this whole episode that led to a fizzled out ending. The traps are laid, but they have yet to snap!

Favorite Line: “Oh gosh, wow. I actually think little Timmy Chalamet did fuck up my back.”

Who Died Prediction: Ethan is sharpening his metaphorical knives to plunge in Theo James’ wide chest. Although, Theo James is the character we have the least backstory on, so that doesn’t necessary check out for him to be the victim. Tom Hollander needs to kill someone already. Tik tok, it’s murder o’clock! But he’s probably just in it for that prenup coin, not cold blood killing.

Favorite Jennifer Coolidge Moment: I enjoy Jennifer Coolidge reading Haley Lu until the cows come home. Find some direction!

America’s Next Top Asshole: You know what? It’s Rocco. Engaged? More like, enraged. Engaged? More like, put yourself in a cage. Engaged? More like splitting your hard earned wage. Engaged? More like a lifetime of personality in color beige. Engaged? More like your youth is on its last page. He almost ruined Valentina’s birthday! Isabella gives pretty, enthusiastic women in instructional videos that teach you basic Italian phrases. Good for her! Although, she is extremely bold to try to switch her fiancé back to her desk shift before her boss’ birthday dinner—Isabella’s gaydar is below sea level. Birthdays are more important than engagements, grow up Rocco!

SHEA:

Overall Thoughts: I absolutely live for the tension build up! Nobody has died which means the finale will be a bloodbath. Can’t wait! Ethan’s tantrum made watching him spiral about Aubrey Plaza and Theo James so much better. Homie didn’t even wait for her to brush her teeth before he started attacking her. I’m scared for everyone, but also excited at all of the possibilities.

Favorite Line: I’m a flop and can’t remember any piece of dialogue, just the vibes.

Who Died Prediction: Okay here’s what I think: Portia or Mia is the body in the water. I refuse to believe that Lucia dies. I think Albie’s grandfather might die since the whole homecoming thing didn’t work out (idk metaphors?). I think Harper and Ethan’s marriage will be DOA. I could see Daphne actually ending Theo James with some kinda dark reveal of their marriage which would make the first scene even creepier. I also love Daphne. I support women’s wrongs.

Favorite Jennifer Coolidge Moment: Jennifer Coolidge telling Portia she has no direction in her life. I didn’t know whether to laugh or take it personally (I did both).

America’s Next Top Asshole: I’m the asshole for thinking I could predict what was going to happen this season. Mike White is also the asshole for making this show run my life for two months only for it to end next week!? Sir, I need four more seasons on my desk by tomorrow!

JULIE:

Overall Thoughts: These episodes are getting better by the week. I’m actually shocked at all the reveals we did get - Greg is the cowboy! They are recording Tanya! Ethan is showing an emotion other than vagueness! Isabella is engaged to Rocco! Daphne had a “massage”... or was it a little premeditation time, if you will? No one is safe, and everyone has ceased having fun, except for maybe Mia. I love to see it.

Favorite Line: It’s obviously the Timmy Chalamet line.. But my runner-up was “Can I look in your cocaine bag?”

Who Died Prediction: It could be anyone. Anyone! They have almost all been set up to perish. I think Ethan and Cameron will duke it out, but Ethan will not fare well. (Farewell!) Something is afoot with Lucia and Alessio, and methinks one of the Di Grassos might get the short end of the murder stick somewhere in there. Although, the same could be said for Cameron and his cheap ass. Portia and Tanya are in peril!! We need to get them away from the dark energy of that villa ASAP.

Favorite Jennifer Coolidge Moment: Tanya partying the night away. You know what, it’s kind of an incredible move to look at a photo of your husband and the gay man who instructed the Italian you’re about to sleep with to give you copious amounts of cocaine and then say, “I’m a little nervous.” Let her have a little fun before she is ruined!

America’s Next Top Asshole: Man from Essex!!! He needs to immediately stop talking about deep dark holes, please and thank you.