Transcript Nonsense

The Making of SE, Nonsense

It’s three days until the next issue needs to be published. We’re in Julie’s room, and we’ve already hung out for eight hours today. The website is in disarray and our articles are in various states of completion. Really, Suburban Elitist was a project we created for the eighth hour hanging out together. Our laptops are open and we’re doing the most “unproductive” type of work but the most fun, chatting. We’re also having seven different conversations at once that we pile on top of each other like layers on a cold day. It’s these layers that we live in and it’s in between these layers that we write in. This is an exclusive behind the scenes look into the making of this issue and what you can capture when you secretly record your friends.

Shannon has taken a writing break to shop for swimsuits online while Caroline looks over her shoulde. Shea is working on the website and Julie is helping and looking at her phone.

Shea: You know what’s bomb? When you go to Wix, it’s not just from Julie’s account but everything we have all uploaded to the website.

Shannon: Yeah, it’s all accessible on the account. Ooo (funny sing-song voice) I like the Cheetah Print while referring to another swimsuit.

Caroline nods.

Julie: That was a very quick nod.

Shannon: (laughing) Yes, I like it too.

Caroline: (in a deeper mock robotic voice) Yes, I think Cheetah print is uh.. Classy and.

Shannon: Bougie.

Shea: And..

Julie: Rachet.

Caroline: (still in mock voice)...and distributes charisma.

Shannon: I don't understand those swimsuits that have zippers all the way down because what if someone just came up and...

Caroline: I had one of those and..

Shannon: Just like unzipped the front of you..

Caroline: I zipped it all the way down on the beach one time by accident.

Shannon: Kinda kinky but

Caroline: I’ve done it; I’ve exposed myself.

Shannon: (excited troll voice) Ah! They've got it in yellow.

Caroline: (in mock Siri tone) Translation: They have it got in it yellow.

Julie: Savage remix or background music? *plays the Savage remix immediately*

Shannon: Well, I wanted background music...

Caroline: Julie, no one asked you to play this!

Julie: But I am playing because I want to, Caroline!

Julie dances in place. For the entire song. Shea sings along while editing the website.

Shannon: (still shopping, says to Caroline) Oh, this is the one that you liked in the store.

Shannon: Oo that’s cute! Carol, you’ll like this one. Turns to see Caroline no longer sitting next to her. Julie and Shannon laugh. Carol does not reply because she walked out of the room to go to the bathroom.

Shannon: Julie, where did you put the chocolate almonds?

Julie: (referring to Shannon saying, “Take this away from me,” an hour earlier.) You’re not supposed to know that information.

Shannon: I’ve waited. I just want a handful to have in my hand.

Shea: I might want some too.

Caroline emerges from the bathroom with a completely new thought.

Caroline: Why do non-Ivy league colleges not have secret societies?

Shea: I feel like people wouldn't look there for them, so that might be smart.

Shannon: Look at this one, Caroline (points to orange polka dotted top).

Caroline: I mean the normies want to have secrets too.

Julie laughs and repeats the joke.

Caroline: (again about the swimsuit) I like that one!

Shannon:I knew you would!

Caroline: It would be cleavage heavy, but I guess that’s what summer is for.

Shannon:Yeah, and you don’t have huge boobs.

Caroline: Oh for me! Yeah, I like that one.

Julie and Shea discuss Wix in the background.

Shannon clicks on a lavender plaid set and eats the almonds.

Caroline: I can see Julie wearing that one.

Shannon: Uh huh.

Shea leans over her laptop to look at the swimsuit; nods that Julie would wear that one while crunching on dark chocolate almonds.

Shannon: It’s only in XL or L so never mind Julie.

Julie: (about the SE site) Wait why is it doing this?

Shea: (about the SE site) Hold up, where’s the rest of our stuff?

Shannon: (knowingly) Sometimes Wix forgets and you just have to refresh the page.

Julie: (in an exaggerated tone) Okay, Wix, maybe you should stop being so stupid.

Shannon: It happens a lot. It will just come up and the whole page is messed up and you're just like (angry face).

Caroline: Wix has short-term memory loss.

Julie: Yeah, clearly.

Shea: Yeah, like bring that shit back.

Caroline: I’ve started saying ‘clearly’ a lot. Just like ‘clearly’ to my mom.

Julie: (still messing with the site) Oh my gawd.

Shannon: (with vocal fry repeats) Oh my gawd.

Julie: AHHH! You guys.. What am I doing? Uh it wouldn't let me bring it (deep voice) down.

Shannon and Caroline return to shopping, remain unhelpful. They spot the same swimsuit in three different colors.

Caroline: (claps and chants) Matching swimsuits! Matching swimsuits!

Shannon: (switches tab to Normal People essay) Okay back on the grind! (to Caroline) Look how much I’ve done.

Caroline (claps in between words) That! Is! Amazing! (attempt at Irish accent) Amazin’

Julie: Amazin’

Caroline: (in Irish accent as Normal People’s Connell) Marianne, that is amazin.’

Shea: (now has the laptop from Julie) Okay, Julie I fixed it.

Julie: (to Shea) Ugh, you’re so beautiful, thank you. That was traumatic.

Shea: I know, I was like, Julie, we just lost our entire website!

Caroline: If you're not crying using Wix, you’re not working hard enough.

Shea: Honestly, yeah.

Shannon: I would have cried.

Caroline reaches over and italicizes “Normal People” in the first sentence of Shannon’s essay.

Shannon: You forgot the E!

Caroline italicizes the e too.

Shannon: I just think it's so cute. I don’t know why. I love italicizing things.

Caroline: (mock tone) Italics is just cuter. Thoughts?

They both giggle about italics.

Shannon: It is! What, you don’t believe me?

Caroline: No, I kind of agree.

Shannon: Okay good.

Shannon celebrates by saying,“I’m a savage!” swinging her arm and almost hitting Julie.

Shea: (laughing)You almost clocked Julie in the face.

Julie: (laughing) You almost punched me.

Shannon: (laughing) Okay, but I knew I wasn’t going to.

Caroline: (laughing) Like you would apologize if you did.

Shannon: Yeah, Julie got in my way.

We all laugh.

Julie: Wix still has issues. Where’s our contact page? (referring to the empty space at the bottom of the home page), Why is this so large? Large and in charge.

Caroline: Don’t body shame our website.

Julie: (chuckles) I will body shame our website. It’s acting up!

Caroline (to Julie): Is this the image you really want to portray?

Shea: Now it has body dysmorphia.

Julie: Wix is giving me body dysmorphia.

Shannon starts choking on an almond. Julie hands her water.

Shea: I don’t know why, but I thought you were pointing to the chocolate-covered almonds. And was about to be like I mean yeah? (in a kid voice) I need it!

Julie: (In Jenny Slate as Mona Lisa voice) Money please!

Shea: (in the same way) Money please!

Shannon: (laughing) No, I was choking on an almond. On the skin.

Caroline: OOo the skin. Shannon takes over looking at Wix. Shea and Shannon discuss overlapping.

Shannon: It can just have space here.

Caroline: Let it breathe.

Julie: No, it's all moving to the other tab, and it’s still too long.

Shannon: I don’t know, Julie. You ask so much of me.

Shea: It’s going to have that space no matter what we do.

Julie: Is it?

Shannon looks directly at Julie and says, “Hey!”Julie fliches.

Shannon (to Caroline): Julie is so jumpy around me.

Caroline: Because you beat her up two days ago.

Shannon: No, I just try to hold her chin (mocks Julie). She doesn’t like when you touch her neck.

Caroline: It’s okay, Julie drove like 25 minutes to get me a smoothie today, so it’s fine.

Shea: Okay, I thought it felt like 25 minutes. It seemed long.

Caroline: In silence.

Shannon: In silence?

Caroline: Yeah, no one felt like talking.

Shannon: Which Jamba Juice did you go to?

Julie: The Highland Village one.

Shannon: Oh, yeah Highland Village is stoopid far.

Julie: Well it’s close to my house.

Shannon: Well, your house isn't close to anyone except me, and I’m far from their houses.

Caroline (to Julie): Are you undressing?

Julie: Yeah.

Shea: In front of my salad!

Shannon laughs.

Caroline: I will never have another Mango-Go-Go again!

Julie: I want to put on SHORTS!

Shea (shows us the fixed website): Okay, wait look how good she looks now.

Shannon: She does look good.

Caroline: Yes!

Julie (sings): We love you Shea!

Shea: No problem, I’m actually having a lot of fun.

Shannon returns to writing her essay and we discuss Normal People again. Shannon asks us for a way to rephrase the upset of Connell not asking Marianne to the debs.

Caroline: Connell prioritizes his popularity over Marianne’s feelings...

Julie: That’s a hot definition. A hot doc.

Caroline: Yeah, are you getting this down?

Julie: Jot that down.

Shea:Yeah are you recording this?

We proceed to do Marianne and Connell’s names in faux French pronunciations because Shannon mistyped Marianne to have two R’s. All is well.

**This conservation has been edited and condensed for time and clarity.**